Tuesday, August 23, 2011

conversations that end up this way are generally, well- you know...

handsome:  did you think that was awkward?
me:  yes, that was awkward.

have you ever found yourself at a party,
where you were the only non-married, non-child-rearing person there? 
it’s not weird, is it?
no- it is fun!

now, imagine the party is a meet and greet
for your friend’s newborn baby. 
and you’re there with your main squeeze. 
and the two of you are the only non-married people.
and still, the only other non-parents 
are completely outnumbered by parents. 

it's not that i don't care about pumping v. formula
or about bowel movements
or daycare wait lists
maybe someday i will care very much...

right now,
i care when people talk to me and handsome like
marriage and children
is a done deal.
a foregone conclusion.
something that i need to write down now
because time's a-wasting and
my uterus isn't getting any younger.

because i am aware of my age.
but i'm also aware that our friends love us,
and love us together
so much,
that they can't imagine handsome and i
not having the type of life they do.

but we're not married.
we only talk about marriage in abstracts

and i like it that way…

because for the first time in the history of miss priss dating,
i am not only spectacularly happy with someone,
but i’m really enjoying the journey.

now, don't get me wrong-
if handsome and i keep going on this track o’ bliss
i couldn’t imagine not making it permanent.
actually, i couldn’t imagine not making it permanent now, but for later

does that even make sense?

i love my friends for seeing us as the real thing
i love feeling like we’re the real thing
but it would be nice to have more time to get there...

so for now, i think handsome and i are going to have to deal
with the awkward conversations
and if we are very
very lucky,
maybe in a handful of years
we can make non-married couples just as uncomfortable with our married talk
somewhere down the road
when we're finished dating
you know,
in the future.

1 comment:

  1. Agreed. There is no rush to marry and have babies. Take it from a once married, then divorced, then remarried woman child.
    If it needs to happen, it will when it should. As most things in life do.